this is just an observation, the future's in my hands

it's a beautiful morning. the sun is shining and everything feels at peace. i'm going down to ibusuki today to sample their famous hot sand baths for the first time. tanoshii mi! (i'm excited).

on days like today, i feel i could stay in japan forever. but that restless wanderlust is once again stirring in me. to move beyond the weekend trips around kyuushu, and to be free from the everyday mundane. i know i should be patient, and bide my time, but i'm as impulsive as ever it seems.

one could literally make a career off of teaching english. with the proper certification and experience, i could teach literally anywhere in the world. third world, second world and even first. english teaching jobs are everywhere! my life, my views, everything about me is so dualistic. i want to stay i want to go. i want peace i want chaos. i want to be surrounded by people i want solitude. i live in extremes, and though not entirely healthy, it's the only way i know how to exist.

and when i think of home, i don't even see myself settling back in the toronto area. it's where i was raised, it's what i know and it is a comfort to me. but it doesn't inspire me. given the chance i would move to montreal, vancouver, victoria, even calgary! i've been all across the major cities, and not so major cities (cough*tweed*cough) of canada. i feel i've got a pretty good cross section of canada, apart from the arctic regions. don't get me wrong, i love all my friends in the GTA, but i've been away so long, and moved about so much, you're all used to me not being there. in fact, i can't remember the last time i talked to anyone back home...in fact i wonder how many of you even read this blog?

i talk like this now, but i'm known for my impromptu mood changes. maybe i'll return to toronto and fall in love with it for the first time, and never want to leave again. or maybe i'll move to france and become a pastry chef. or maybe i'll just marry a japanese boy and we'll start a karaoke bar together. oh, the possibilities! either way, i have a feeling that in august, my life will take on a totally new meaning, regardless of whether i stay or not.