here i go again

okay, my previous entry got cut off so im back. with nothing really new to say...

it snowed in moncton for the first time yesterday. and i went over go sarahs place today to watch tv, cuz thats just how exciting my life is. anyways, i was going thru her camera, and there were like a billion photos of her counterpart shirley playing in the snow. i asked her, waddup, was this like a shirley photo shoot? and sarah was like yeah, it was her first canadian snowfall, i had to document it. didnt u do it for your counterpart. and im like um, hell no. and then she called me a bad counterpart. and im like, yeah, im a bad counterpart. why dont u be her counterpart if you think its so easy.

the thing is, amy isnt outwardly offensive. she isnt aggressive or intentionally mean like that. but its just her very being, its in her character, which i dont like. and im never one to not like someone just for the heck of it. something about her in the most fundamental sense, i cant stand. nothing about her comes off as endearing to me. and the stupid thing is, no matter what i say about her, none of you can really understand what i mean. you havent met her, you havent seen her, you havent had any contact with her. everything you know about her is through my words, and obviously thats pretty skewed. but trust me, you would not choose to be her friend. i can guarentee you this. and its not cuz shes a bitch. she is just plain annoying. and boring. and i want to get away from her, as much as possible. how is this for cultural understanding?

have i learned anything these past two months? i havent a bloody clue. am i any more patient? i am and im not. i can tolerate a lot of BS, but im also teetering on the edge of sanity.

am i happy i did this? yeah, at least i know i tried. and no, because i probably could have spent my time better than babysitting...for free.

yes i would like to quit. but i want to go to china, just to see what its like. i mean, i really dont care about going, but at the same time...i have to. its like ill never get over the what mitve been, even tho i hate it right now. having to be chained down, having to be dependent on others, and knowing nothing of the familiar. and the snow! all the fucking...freezing...snow. brrrrrrr