office politics. get me my guitar

i'm feeling disconcerted right now. filled with anxiety, and the cause of that stress is ... from lack of stress. i told nishihashi sensei, my direct supervisor and person in charge of all the JETS in kagoshima ken, that i was interested in being PA this fall. the prefectural advisor is supposed to advise first year JETS as well as organize the mid year seminar in which over 200 JET's and their JTE's attend. It's a lot of responsibility, overwhelmingly so, but i dont doubt my ability to handle it. she hinted that i had a good chance of getting it, but if theres anything i learned about being japanese, is that yes means yes, no means no, and maybe means no. and because that wasn't a definite yes, anything could happen. problem is they don't appoint a PA until july. so thats a long time to wait, when i could be prepping myself for something else. Chay, the ecosig coordinator just asked if i wanted to lead the sig next year. i'd be willing, but given a choice between ecosig and PA, i'd want to be PA.

i cant sit on my ass for another year. that was the condition i gave myself if i were to stay in japan. i chose to stay, i signed the contract and handed it in. but i'm not beyond breaking that contract. it's only been 4 days since the deadline, its not as if it affects their hiring process any to change my mind now. i phoned nishihashi sensei today, and basically told her me staying relies on this PA job. i'm making it sound like i gave her an ultimatum, but by no means did i relay it to her like that. despite popular belief, i am capable of tact. she says she'll phone me tomorrow to arrange a face to face meeting. i'm meeting the current PA dave on thursday for a coffee and a chat. hopefully he'll give me some advice to clear this muddle in my head. and he's also taking me guitar shopping! yay, finally doing what i always wanted to do. gonna play me some gee-tar!